Thinking of Dad at Christmas....

Hi, Dad—

As you would have said, time flies like the wind…and fruit flies like bananas. It’s been a bit since I’ve written my thoughts down; it’s hard to believe you’ve been gone seven years. Still, I remember that Christmas was always one of those times that you seemed to enjoy…and it seems appropriate that I take a few moments and jot some thoughts down. This year’s a little more difficult; my thoughts are as scrambled this year as they were in high school.

Speaking of years…thanks for the backbone. Not the metaphorical one; the genetic one. I’ve discovered why you disliked cold and damp so much. (Given your current resting place, there’s a certain irony to that, you know.) I wake up in the morning and could sell Rice Krispies: Snap, Crackle, POP! and my spine aligns. Thanks loads! Yeah, I know living in Oregon isn’t helping. On the other hand, I’d rather be here than in the midwest-or the east. I can see why you didn’t want to live in New Jersey! You always said the meek would inherit the earth; with my luck I’ll end up with Bayonne. 

It’s been a busy year. I’m singing with the Salem SenateAires these days; no, I’m not directing-but I’m having a ball. Traci’s been a wonderful support; I doubt I could have done half of what I did without her help. I’ve also been learning a new career; I know you understand how that works, having gone from one to another more years back than I want to admit to. I also have family: Traci has two daughters-Adrianne and Jordyn-and third daughter, Tylar. Addy has a partner-Alex-who has a cute daughter of his own, Cammy, whom we call the Bug. I love them all like they were my kids; you’d have fun discussing many things with Jordyn-and the Bug would love on you like there’s no tomorrow. Traci and I share a relationship that’s much more than a marriage. You’d love her; heaven knows I do!

Speaking of the family…the rest of the family is doing well. Mom’s doing well enough, and Amy, Kim, Liz and Patti are okay. Mom isn’t getting around as well as she could…but frankly, non of us are. As you know, none of us are getting younger-and every time I see them it’s all good. We’re taking care of Mom as best we can, but sometimes it’s harder than others. 

Enough of that, though. Tomorrow is Christmas, and there will be gifts to open, pictures to take-no, I haven’t forgotten taking the pictures at the top of the staircase!-and food to enjoy. Know that you’re missed, and never far from our thoughts. Traci has a song playing called “Good to be Alive RIght About Now.” She’s right…it is, and while you’re missed, know that we’re all taking very good care of each other. I know you’d like to know that!  

Love you and miss you--

Matthew

2012 Has Come and Gone....

Nollaig Shona Dhaoibh! (Happy Christmas to you all!)

It’s that time of year again. This is likely my last blog for the year, so I might as well make it part Nollag litir (Christmas letter). We’ve loaded the CD player with Christmas CD’s-some 51 of of them. (We decided it was better than letting some commercial station play off the wall Christmas stuff all the time.) Our tree is up, and the Christmas cards are all sent. A candle is in the window, and I have decided to take a few minutes to reflect on the last year. That reflection starts off with a question: Where the heck has 2012 gone?!? I mean, come on! I know I’ve been busy. I didn’t think I was that busy...until I sat down to write this. 

I’ve been writing, working, and singing. A lot of free time has been spent writing books in the Cosantóirí Chronicles series; the first five books are done and in epub format. Book six should be done by the end of the month, if all goes well; then I am editing all six books for iBook format. (There is part of an outline for a potential book seven, but that outline won’t even get finished until the others are edited and in iBook format.) You can check out what they’re about here: http://cosantoiri.wordpress.com. I’m also transcribing some old travels to the digital age; I have a few Hawai’i trips, some visits to Canada, a trip to Ireland, and if I can find them, a missions trip to Mexico. Then I’ll add some band and choir tours, and maybe a little Drum Corps and Barbershop stuff. It’s a long term project.

I also finished all the work for my third doctorate. All I have to do is pay the final bill (which isn't cheap) and they’ll send me the diploma. It’s a Ph.D in interdisciplinary studies; I’m done taking classes for right now. I’m busy both teaching and grading courses for Master’s International School of Divinity, and when I’m not writing on the fiction side I’m busy developing a course on a Celtic View of the Spiritual Disciplines. I am also developing a course on the writings of C.S. Lewis. Both of these should be done early next year if all goes well. C.S. Lewis will be done first; I’m still reading books for the other class-and enjoying them immensely. As a result of the fiction writing and the one course, I’ve been teaching myself Gaeilge (Irish Gaelic). It’s an interesting language-and easier than Japanese, Greek or Hebrew was. For fun and to clear my head I've also picked up the feadóg stáin, or tin whistle. I can play three songs on the thing already, and I've only had it a month or so.

Deena and I have traveled quite a bit this year. She competed with the Pride of Portland Sweet Adeline Chorus in Denver the first week of November; they took eighth in the world. Not too shabby! I taught Music and Performance VP for the Evergreen District’s Western Regional Leadership in Langley, BC a few weeks later. There have been a few trips to see Mom, and we all spent a week with 6,000 of our closest friends at the Barbershop Harmony Society’s International Convention held in Portland over the 4th of July week. We did a little camping, and I even managed to get in my first baseball game at AT&T park. (There’s more travels, but I’m not gonna go there right now.) Then there was this two week period at the beginning of August where it felt like everything stopped for the Summer Olympic games. Don’t tell me some of you weren’t up until midnight-or at least 11:00-watching some of that....

Speaking of activities, I’m still the assistant director for Eugene-Springfield’s “Cascade Chorus,” but resigned as the Music and Performance VP this fall due to health reasons...most of which are stress related.  After the Division IV competition in Medford the quartet I sang in-“It’s About Time”-stopped singing together. It wasn’t due to anyone or anything...we just decided enough was enough. We’re all still good friends and laugh about stuff at chapter meetings. And I’m continuing my work as Director of Education for the Evergreen District of the BHS-for now, at least. I’ve kept busy with our local church, Ebbert Memorial UMC; I’m involved on the Congregational Leadership Team. I also update their website every so often, as time allows. I dropped off the Worship Planning team and the Wednesday night dinner crew for the same reason: stress. I have had to learn I can’t cram eighty hours of work, volunteering, writing, and so forth into a forty hour week and not have it impact my health. Being epileptic does place limits on the output of energy I have, and frankly I don’t have the same energy at nearly 48 as I did at 33. As a result I don’t handle stress as well any more, and so have needed to reduce my stress levels. 

And oh, yes...we’re cleaning up around the place, sorting through stuff, and getting rid of things. That is both of us; I’ve been going through all kinds of stuff a little bit every day-old files in the filing cabinet, stuff in the storage bin, stuff in storage at Deena’s folks. It’s time; I have stuff I want to put up and haven’t been able to. For example, I don’t really need my class notes from TEDS and Moody any more. (I haven’t looked at them in years.) The notes from TEDS got sorted today, for example. I pulled the syllabi and tossed the rest. Yesterday, another piece from my collection of Royal Tara china went up: A china cat. (It sits next to the Waterford crystal panda Deena got for me years ago.)

Like I said-I’ve been a little busy, maybe too busy. So why am I telling you all this?

Because I haven’t been blogging much of late. And I felt you all deserved a reasonable explanation as to why. Unlike certain other bloggers, I have a little something called a life. And life gets in the way of blogging sometimes. My goal for next year on the blog is roughly fifteen articles; at the very least I’m aiming for one a month. (Heck, even if I only put up ten, that’s twice as many as this year.) Another part of the reason for not blogging: It’s too easy to get into matters political-and I didn’t want to go there. Not this year. Not ever, if I can avoid it.

And so I want to leave you all with this thought. 2012 is over, effectively. Instead of complaining about what is, work to change what you can-and try to make peace with what you can’t. Better yet, to paraphrase Adam Savage: Reject the current reality and substitute your own. No, you can’t become deity, or replace the President. But you should do what you can to make your little corner of the world a better place. That’s part of having a whole new year to play with, after all. And it is also the Christmas message: hope. Hope for a better eternity, hope of new life, in Jesus-who we celebrate the birth of this time of year.

Nollaig Shona agus Athbhliain faoi Mhaise Daoibh! (Happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year to you all!) 

Three Days Before Christmas

‘Twas three days before Christmas and all through the land,

the malls were a madhouse, shopping madness was fanned.

People were all over, driving like fools

to get some trinket to make someone drool.

But in our apartment, there was none of that dread

for Deena and I had planned well ahead. 

The gifts were all mailed, and so were the cards,

to places quite near, and to some that are far. 

The performances were done, and all with great care,

and we could finally relax and sit in our chairs. 

The groceries are bought and are ready to feast

out to my in-laws, who live to our east. 

The cats are all sleeping, there’s football to see,

and I had a chance to think of the year that should be.

More than that, though, I had a chance to ponder 

of Joseph and Mary, and how they had wondered

about the birth of Jesus, for that is the reason

we go through the madness of each Christmas season.

His birth was foretold in the days of the past,

and his time here was short-it wasn’t to last. 

He lived, he died, and he rose once again,

to provide us salvation-hallelujah, amen!

So in the insanity that is the holiday season,

take time out to think of the Savior-and reason

to ask forgiveness of sin, your spirit renewed

your life filled with peace-with His Spirit imbued.

----------

After all, Christmas is about the birth of Jesus of Nazareth, The Son of God the Father, the second person of the Living, Triune God. He was born of Mary, that He might be fully God-yet fully man. Do I understand why, after all the years in Bible school, Seminary, and so forth? 

No, I don't. What I do know that He is a holy, righteous, God. He is also a loving God, not wanting anyone to perish. That’s I’m glad He chose to come, live, die for my sins and yours...and come back to life. He died for all people. But before that...he had to be born, and that’s what we celebrate. 

Merry Christmas to all, and a blessed New Year as well. 

A Christmas Letter to my Dad

Dear Dad:

It seems strange to write a letter to you like this. I mean, you’ve been gone now for the last two Christmases--this will be the third since you passed--and in many ways, life has moved on...as you told me it would, years ago. It's also strange to write this because you and I wrote each other very little.

And yet, tonight after Deena had gone to bed early, and I was wrapping the Christmas gifts, I found myself thinking of you. 

It still seems strange sometimes to go back home and not see you there. (Though there is a nice comfy chair there you’d love, I’m sure.) It’s really hard this time of year; I remember all the years you took pictures of us kids at the top of the stairs...and the year we all beat you to it. That flash had to be visible for a three mile radius! I remember bit and pieces from both birthdays and Christmases past: The 100 in 1 electronic kit, the Starfleet Academy manual (and Enterprise blueprints), and all the LEGO are still in my possession. (As well as more electronics, Star Trek books, and even LEGO than I ever thought I’d own in a lifetime.) Making stuffing, and having you taste it. Trips to Helen and Louie’s in the motor home. (Or, as Amy put it, “Barbie’s Dream Home.”) 

I’ve tried to hold up my end of the bargain. I promised to be a good son and watch Mom for you. I’ve tried to keep an eye on Mom without being a pest. You’d be proud of her; she gets around pretty good these days. She’s active enough, gets out of the house, and drives. She flies on her own, too. 

When we went to the Big Island, we had a GPS you’d have laughed at. My little unit butchered every Hawai’ian name. We all still laugh about it. (That, and trying to find Diamond Lil’s in Salt Lake City.) 

I’m still helping clean up the house as well...I’m going to want to discuss with you some of the more interesting findings. For example, I know you knew nobody was using serial bus ports on computers; USB connections work so much better. So why were there, what--a half dozen or so?--adaptors for serial busses? Plus the cables? 

I don’t even want to know why there were hundreds of 5 1/4 inch floppies. I do want to know where you hid the slides. Part of my early life is on those, and I’d really like to rediscover part of that. 

So many things. I know all the medals you earned in the Navy. I wish I knew how you earned them all. You never really talked about them, or much else of you Navy time. I understand why as a vet myself. I also never knew you cared much for baseball, much less were a Yankees fan. I know you never totally understood my tastes in music. (That’s okay...I never totally understood yours, either.) But you did instill a love of good music, which means I’ll never like rap. 

I also know you never could quite figure out what I saw in some of the girls I dated. That’s cool; you weren’t dating them...I was. You and Mom taught me to look past certain things, and see the person inside. I learned to see certain qualities I knew you and Mom didn’t see. That’s okay too. (I’m still trying to get the “being a good husband” thing down as well, and I am wondering if I’ll ever get it right. Even approaching 19 years of marriage--after 4 years of dating on top of that--I’m still trying to get things right.)

You’ve missed seeing me with the quartet. We have fun, and we do reasonably well. (We are getting better every week.) You watched me compete with barbershop choruses at all levels, yet due to work/guests from out of town (I don’t remember which) missed the only Command Performance I ever had in both intermediate and high school. That was hard for me to understand at the time. There were other things I never understood: how you could solve algebra in your head, and I couldn’t get the same answer twice. (And then there was the time I got one answer, you had another, the book had a third...and my instructor got a fourth answer and none of them matched.)

I remember when you told us as a family we might have a chance to live in Europe while you would be in the Middle East. As much as the education I would have gotten would have been a benefit, given the way things have turned out in the Middle East, it’s better that deal fell through.

You taught me to honor my commitments, even when not a pleasant thing to do. I guess that’s part of what pulled my butt through Moody and TEDS: I made a commitment, and by gar I wasn’t gonna quit. (No matter how badly I wanted to turn tail and run.) 

You taught me how to change a tire, spark plugs, headlights and taillights, several wiring harnesses, my own oil and oil filter, and the fuel filter. These days, I’m lucky if I can find the latch to open the hood. Changing my own oil is out of the question...no place to dump it. You also taught me to use the right tool for the job. 

In some ways, that’s a lesson I’m still learning; again this year I cut the wrapping paper for the gifts with my Swiss Army Knife. (Some things never change.) You’d have been proud of me. Yes, I still have a knife that weighs a ton. But hey--I’ve carried Swiss steel since 1976-77ish. Why stop now? 

As much as I miss you, though...I wouldn’t dream of asking you to come back here, even for a minute so I could say goodbye properly. Not only have you earned your rest, I couldn’t be that selfish to take you away from the presence of God Himself. 

And that brings me back to Christmas, and wrapping gifts. Yes, we celebrate the birth of Jesus this time of year. Knowing you’re with Him has helped--and continues to help--me deal with the fact you’re not going to be home for Christmas. It’s been hard to not find you something. I miss sending you e-mails and swapping jokes and puns. 

Mostly, though...I just miss you.

I’d better sign off now. It’s late, and I need to get some sleep. Give my love to everyone there. 

Love,

Matthew

On Christmas 2009

So it’s Christmas week. The Christmas performances are done, the last of the gifts are (thankfully) purchased, wrapped, and ready for their big day, the cards are all mailed, and I finally have a moment to sit and reflect on Christmas.

I could go through all the commercialization gyrations that I’ve written in many places in years past. But I’m not going there this year.

I could also write about how tired I am of 24/7 Christmas music, and Santa being everywhere I go. Somebody buy that kid’s shoes, get that girl a hippo, and fix that other kid’s front dental work. Sorry, Bing--I don’t want a white Christmas, either. (I’d have to shovel all that snow.) Nope...not writing that up, either.

I could write up the argument about how it’s Merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays. While I have issue with how far both sides go with this argument, I’m saving that for next year, maybe. (For the record, there are six major holidays in December, some of which overlap. Seven if you count my birthday. Hence I don’t have as big a deal with “Happy Holidays” as others do.)

I could definitely write about family, and how important that is. It is important, especially to me. But...I’m not writing about that right now. Maybe later.

Instead, I have chosen to quote from the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 2:

1 Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth. 2 This was the first census taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. 3 And everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city. 4 Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, 5 in order to register along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was with child. 6 While they were there the days were completed for her to give birth. 7 And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. (NASB)

That’s what Christmas is all about.

It’s the day we celebrate the birthday of Jesus of Nazareth. No decorated trees, no fat guy sliding down chimneys with a bag of holding, no flying reindeer (including the one with the 12-volt nose), not even a turkey. Just another night during tax season, with one exception: the figure that came to save us from our sins, the man who split time from BC to AD was born in humble estate and laid in a feeding trough. He was born to die for our sins, so that we, who are dead in sin, might be born into new life in Christ.

That hardly seems like a fair trade to me. But I’m not arguing it. I’ve accepted His gift of life, and believe He came here for the very reason stated above.

Contemplate this over the next few days: Why do you celebrate Christmas, if not for the birth of Jesus?

Grace and Peace to you and yours. Have a Merry Christmas, and a blessed New Year.

Enough for now.

Valentine's Day is almost as bad as Christmas....

Valentine’s day is tomorrow, and I can hardly wait to get past it.

If I hear one more ad one more adfor chocolate, flowers, or “gold and pearls and things for girls” I will hurl. For example, for my readers in the listening area for KUGN-AM 590 AM there’s an ad for a well-known chocolate company that I am sick to death of. You know the one—the guy calls the operator for a listing, and she jumps all over him for being a schnook, then changes her tune—because he’s buying this company’s chocolate. It makes me want to turn off the radio.

It’s not that I’m against Valentine’s day. I’m all for it. I think it’s a nice idea for the middle of the most boring month of the year. A little something to brighten up a day or weekend in a dreary month of gray. Yes, it’s true—February is not my favorite month, regardless of the fact it’s when I got married (and no, that has nothing to do with it. Don’t evengo there, or I’ll make you stay after class and clean the erasers.)

What I am against is the same thing I dislike about Christmas. It’s gotten too commercial, too much about the stuff and the sex and the warm fuzzies.

Who was St. Valentine? “He was a Roman priest martyred during the reign of Claudius Gothicus. He was arrested and imprisoned for marrying Christian couples and otherwise aiding Christians who were being persecuted. (Aiding Christians at this time was considered a crime against the State.) Claudius took a liking to this prisoner, until he tried to convert the Emperor. He was beaten with clubs and stoned; and when that didn't kill him, he was beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate. Three dates are given for the martyrdom or martyrdoms: 269, 270, or 273.” (Tip of the hat to Jack Oruch, "St. Valentine, Chaucer, and Spring in February", Speculum 56.3 (July 1981 pp 534-565) p 535. Being martyred doesn’t fill me with thoughts of love, really.

The day really took off as a lover’s holiday of sorts in the 1300’s with the likes of Chaucer, and of course was greatly refined in 19th century America with the advent of mass-produced greeting cards. And we all remember the cute valentine cards we all passed around in grade school. Everybody had to get one, just to be fair, which is somewhat puzzling because all is not fair in love and war.

So, I don’t know what you’ll be doing. I know how I’ll be spending my Valentine’s day. I’ll be spending my day singing love songs to other women, with the missus’ blessing. Seriously—the chorus I belong to does singing valentines, and I’m in a quartet that’ll be singing all day.

Enough for now.

(Published 2/13/09)

Thoughts on the New Year....

So I’m at home. We’ve survived the first Christmas without Dad, and really, he would have had a ball. We gathered as family at the house in Concord, and we celebrated Christmas. Nothing maudlin or sad. My brother in law proposed a wonderful toast.

We’ve also gone through some more of Dad’s personal effects, and for those who know me, if you think I’m a packrat, I have nothing on him. We’re finding stuff none of us knew he had, including a doctorate that wasn’t on his wall.

But this isn’t about that. Not really. It’s about thinking of what will come in the new year.

Now, I firmly believe that Spring is the time to make new commitments. January, post Christmas, is the wrong time of the year to make changes in your life. Dieting after a month of bingeing on holiday cookies, for example, makes sense. But if you want to make a permanent lifestyle change to keep that weight off for good, January is not that month. Everything is dead in winter.

What will happen this coming year? Only the Almighty knows for sure. I can make plans, but there’s no promises that any of it will come to pass. I am hoping to wrap up my third doctorate this coming year. I’d like to get down around 180 pounds and get in decent shape, so when I go to Kona in August I’ll look good in my surf shorts. (Not to mention living better and potentially longer.) I’d like to get in better shape financially...but then, who wouldn’t?

The gist of all this is this: We just celebrated the birth of Jesus Christ, maker of Heaven and Earth. Literally, only He knows what the year to come will bring. Make plans, but trust Jesus to guide and shape your year.

May you all have a Blessed and Prosperous New Year.

Enough for now.

(Posted 12/29/08)