This Whole Green Mess

Okay, I admit it. I’m sick of everything having to be green.

Don’t take it wrong. I’ve long been a supporter of nature, starting with several years of being in the Nature Club at Mt. Diablo Elementary. I got Ranger Rick magazine from the National Wildlife Federation for years, and a few years of National Geographic World. (I also had a subscription recently to National Geographic, but have since let it lapse.) I recycle my plastics, cardboard, and glass here at the apartment complex, take newspaper to my Barbershop chorus for recycling, and take recyclable bottles back to the store. (That nickel a pop for pop cans and bottles starts adding up for a Coca-Cola addict. Not to mention that Oregon duns the same amount for water in those 20 oz. bottles.) I just recycled the old Dell laptop, a Toshiba laptop, an old clock radio and both my old electronic PDA type devices at NextStep Electronic recycling. I have long been a supporter of “recycled” (read: used) books: both Tsunami and Smith Family Bookstores here in Eugene, as well Powell’s Books in Portland are current favorites. Growing up in Concord, the late, lamented Book Nook at Park and Shop, and both Moe’s and the late Cody’s in Berkeley were favorites. (I’ll really miss Cody’s. That’s a tragic loss.) I’ve long said the government has underfunded our National Parks, and state parks are not much better. I’ve even replaced many of the incandescent light bulbs in our apartment with CFL’s, even though I don’t like them as well. I’ll even recycle myself when I go: I’m an organ donor. They can have whatever they can use from an aging epileptic that’s been on seizure meds since the Ford Administration.

But since being green has been shown to make money for business, all of a sudden it’s being rammed down my throat. As a result, it seems to be the cause du jour for everyone, and everyone just must do more. Plastics, styrofoams and chemicals are evil, natural, sustainable and organic is in. The world is warming at an alarming rate. (Yeah, right. I’m sitting at 42 degrees as I write this. A bit chilly for October 5th in these parts.) We must cut emissions, reduce plastics, and eat organically, and if we eat meat at all, it must be organic, free-range, and so forth.

Just hold on there, partner. Explain to me--with a straight face--why it is that I’m getting hit in the Big Mac with all this?

Kids, my body is a product of modern science! As mentioned above, my body is riddled with seizure meds and caffeine. I make a living (such as it is) by working online. (In fact, I probably spend more time in front of my Mac than is good for me.) I use cell phones (but turn in my old ones for reuse). I use a microwave to heat and cook things. Electricity, electronics, computers, and so forth are modern marvels, even now. This also means I am absorbing microwaves, radio waves, wi-fi waves, bluetooth waves, and UVA and UVB waves. (All those waves, and I can’t surf on any of them. Bummer.)

And, I eat meat because I grew up in a world where protein was A Good Thing. We ate beef and chicken and were not afraid to go outside and play; sunscreen was almost unheard of when I was ten or so and your choice was Coppertone. In fact, a good tan was a sign you were healthy! We ate meat, drank cow’s milk and put it on our presweetened cereals, and went outside and played. I spent summers in little more than a t-shirt, swimsuit and zoris, and swam daily. Rode my bike and/or my skateboard, went roller skating, and was in (generally) good health, except from the bruises where other kids beat on me, or from where I fell (or was pushed) off my bike. And was skinny like a rail until I was in the care of the US Naval Recruit Training Command Great Lakes, when I had my final growth spurt. (Civilians, you might know this better as Navy boot camp.)

All well and good. I’m a married adult now, and we’re not paying an extra $40 a pay period to buy organic food. We ask for the plastic bags at Walmart, so we can use them for cat dump. I personally am only willing to buy a certain amount of clothing from places like St. Vincent dePaul’s or the Salvation Army. Shoes and underwear are not among those items. (Some things should be bought new.) We are not turning the heater controls in the apartment to 65 degrees, and colder at night. (Granted, right now they’re set at 60 degrees. Winter is coming, however.) I am not riding my bike in the rain or at night.

Should we do what we can to reduce, reuse, and recycle? Sure, we should. There is only a finite amount of resources we have, and yes, Virginia, the globe really is warming. They have proven a certain amount of that is man’s fault. (The rest of it, however, is cyclical in Nature. It happens. Deal with it.)

Should we be less dependent on chemicals? Probably. Too many chemicals have or are leaching into our water, and if you really knew how they clean and retreat the water you drink you’d never drink a drop again. Sure, I drink tap water from time to time. (I run it through a Brita filter first, though.)

Can we go back and live like we did 200 years ago, before the Industrial Revolution? I don’t think so. If you want to try, go ahead. Leave all your technology behind. Walk everywhere, make your own clothes, grow your own food without chemicals and store it for the winter, and make candles. No computers, iPods, microwaves, etc.

Me, I’ll stay here and enjoy the nice modern technology. I am, after all, a product of the age.

Enough for now.

(published 10/9/09)